Last night, I was asked a question: “how much time of the day do you feel happy?” I answered: “All the time except moments when there are disagreements.” Then, I asked back and I received the answer: “I was upset about things I had not done right in the past. Even though I should let go of the past, but they keep bothering me most of the time.” I was worried. So I said: “You never know what would happened if you had not done it the other way. It could be better or worse. And if you had chosen the other way, you might wish you had done it the way you already did.”
I believe there’s no such thing as absolutely right or wrong. It is all in our mind. We believe we’ve done things wrong because we imagined and assumed the best result we want to achieve. We think we’ve done things right based on the results we wanted to avoid and to not happen on us.
To let go of the things we regret and the things we think we could have done it better, I do the following practices.
Offer ourselves acceptance. Accept we cannot make everything “perfect”. By saying perfect, I mean the “perfectionism” defined by ourselves. Each person has his/her own take on perfect towards different things and there’s no ultimate perfectionism. We want to keep away from struggling with our own minds.
Offer ourselves thankfulness. Our life doesn’t have to be right and perfect to be grateful. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough. As we live in gratitude, we live in abundance.
Offer ourselves compassion and love. Once we accept who we are and be grateful of what we can do, no matter the results we were given, we deserve to be loved and cared by ourselves.
I said in my wishes for you in 2012: “May you take from the past years whatever has worked out for you. May you leave in the past anything that has not worked out for you and will not work for you. ” I guess it’s easier saying than practicing. But there’s no easier way than really practicing in our daily life. I encourage we take the initiation to practice and notice the courage and power it brings. I believe if we practice so more often, we will own our darkness instead of running away and we get to choose to live the brighter life we want, powerfully.
I am reading a book “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brené Brown. It has been very uplifting to me. I want to share with you this video speech by her. She first talked about the dark emotions that keep us from achieving a fuller life and then the cultivation we can apply to our life. I encourage you take some time and listen to what she said, it will impact your life in many ways.